Comments on: The War on Stereotyping is Far From Over http://interracialfamily.org/2010/02/the-war-on-stereotyping-is-far-from-over/ Supporting interracial/multicultural families... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:07:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lorrie http://interracialfamily.org/2010/02/the-war-on-stereotyping-is-far-from-over/comment-page-1/#comment-378 Lorrie Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:11:43 +0000 http://interracialfamily.org/?p=327#comment-378 another comment on the stereotyping tip also reminding me of my dad.... My father passed 11 days ago. The week before he died, I spent 4 days there, helping to take care of him. My dad wouldn't have called himself a racist, and he didn't hold hateful feelings about black people. However, he was part of the "old guard". One night about 2 weeks ago, we were watching TV. I don't remember what was on, but it lead to him making a statement about black men and their inability to be faithful to their women. He said something like "all black men cheat" or to the effect of that. I said, "What did you say?" I really thought i misheard him. Then when confirmed, I announced "I can't believe you just said that". He went on to tell me how a white woman that had been involved with a black man told him this....and from what he sees on TV (Tiger, et al....) it seems to be true. I just commented that this was a stereotype. I wanted to go on to say more, but i reminded myself that my father was in his last days and very sick, so I just sat there quietly watching TV. About ten minutes passed and my dad said to me, "I'm sorry I said that. I really don't know if that is true or not and I shouldn't be talking about things I know nothing about." I smiled and blew him a kiss from where I was sitting. He caught it, and smiled. It might not seem like much, but for me it was. My dad wasn't one to readily admit he didn't know what he was talking about. I appreciated his humility at that moment. another comment on the stereotyping tip also reminding me of my dad….

My father passed 11 days ago. The week before he died, I spent 4 days there, helping to take care of him. My dad wouldn’t have called himself a racist, and he didn’t hold hateful feelings about black people. However, he was part of the “old guard”. One night about 2 weeks ago, we were watching TV. I don’t remember what was on, but it lead to him making a statement about black men and their inability to be faithful to their women. He said something like “all black men cheat” or to the effect of that. I said, “What did you say?” I really thought i misheard him. Then when confirmed, I announced “I can’t believe you just said that”. He went on to tell me how a white woman that had been involved with a black man told him this….and from what he sees on TV (Tiger, et al….) it seems to be true. I just commented that this was a stereotype. I wanted to go on to say more, but i reminded myself that my father was in his last days and very sick, so I just sat there quietly watching TV. About ten minutes passed and my dad said to me, “I’m sorry I said that. I really don’t know if that is true or not and I shouldn’t be talking about things I know nothing about.” I smiled and blew him a kiss from where I was sitting. He caught it, and smiled.

It might not seem like much, but for me it was. My dad wasn’t one to readily admit he didn’t know what he was talking about. I appreciated his humility at that moment.

]]> By: Lorrie http://interracialfamily.org/2010/02/the-war-on-stereotyping-is-far-from-over/comment-page-1/#comment-377 Lorrie Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:07:29 +0000 http://interracialfamily.org/?p=327#comment-377 thanks for sharing this experience, Laura. I can imagine she does have to do constant negotiating, which is unfortunate. What you said re: thinking about whose home you send her to is true to my experience doing home visits as well as personally. My father, the last few years of his life, became even more rigid in his religious beliefs. He asked all his Hospice nurses if they were Christians. I asked him a few weeks ago, "what if they say they aren't? are you going to refuse care from them?" He said, "no, I'll just have to tell them about Jesus." I was glad that my dad said he wouldn't refuse care from them. He actually did witness to one of the hospice volunteers right before he died. He did it in a kind way and she was touched by his faith. However, I imagine a devout muslim or buddhist, hindu, jew, etc might be offended, or at the very least have to develop a tough skin, especially when working with the elderly. thanks for sharing this experience, Laura. I can imagine she does have to do constant negotiating, which is unfortunate. What you said re: thinking about whose home you send her to is true to my experience doing home visits as well as personally. My father, the last few years of his life, became even more rigid in his religious beliefs. He asked all his Hospice nurses if they were Christians. I asked him a few weeks ago, “what if they say they aren’t? are you going to refuse care from them?” He said, “no, I’ll just have to tell them about Jesus.” I was glad that my dad said he wouldn’t refuse care from them. He actually did witness to one of the hospice volunteers right before he died. He did it in a kind way and she was touched by his faith. However, I imagine a devout muslim or buddhist, hindu, jew, etc might be offended, or at the very least have to develop a tough skin, especially when working with the elderly.

]]> By: Suzy http://interracialfamily.org/2010/02/the-war-on-stereotyping-is-far-from-over/comment-page-1/#comment-357 Suzy Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:45:30 +0000 http://interracialfamily.org/?p=327#comment-357 You are such a detailed writer. You painted a picture with your words and that makes a good writer. Thanks for sharing. You are such a detailed writer. You painted a picture with your words and that makes a good writer. Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Kristina Daniele http://interracialfamily.org/2010/02/the-war-on-stereotyping-is-far-from-over/comment-page-1/#comment-355 Kristina Daniele Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:05:08 +0000 http://interracialfamily.org/?p=327#comment-355 I was just talking to someone about how many of us self-censor because we are afraid of what others will think. In fact, when my daughter was 4 months old and I (black) was at the store with my husband (white) a woman referred to me as the Nanny. I immediately restrained myself from saying something because I did not want to come off as the "angry black woman" I THOUGHT she would see. In fact, I should i spoken because i would have pointed out her ignorance and maybe have taught her a lesson. I was just talking to someone about how many of us self-censor because we are afraid of what others will think. In fact, when my daughter was 4 months old and I (black) was at the store with my husband (white) a woman referred to me as the Nanny. I immediately restrained myself from saying something because I did not want to come off as the “angry black woman” I THOUGHT she would see. In fact, I should i spoken because i would have pointed out her ignorance and maybe have taught her a lesson.

]]>